The 10 Elements of a Soulmate

As the American author Richard Bach said “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”

Ah, soulmates. The epitome of love and partnership. In our fast-paced chaotic world, which boasts all sorts of different people, we find ourselves skimming through more relationships than we’d like in order to find that one person who can truly open our locks.

Not just anyone can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. There’s a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart’s other half and a life partner — a person who lacks the elements to mold perfectly to you. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.

Most of us remain in life-partner relationships because we “settle,” for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, we may have a real subconscious fear of being alone. And since we’re biologically designed to fall in love, it’s only natural that we pair up in this world. But we sometimes prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. There are relationships which must last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of life, relationships in which we’re meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are just plain confusing because a melting pot of emotions doesn’t allow us to see our predestined path.

I’ve seen it all, from couples who married their childhood sweethearts to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experienced several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you’re currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering into a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there’s no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

No matter the category you fit into to, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond (or a lack of bond) between you and your partner. As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate criteria :-

1. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. Ever met two people who finish each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. Soulmates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” They feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you’re a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you are designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you’ve found your heart’s other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

Lyrics : The Last Waltz

I wondered should I go or should I stay,
The band had only one more song to play.
And then I saw you out the corner of my eye,
A little girl, alone and so shy.

I had the last waltz with you,
Two lonely people together.
I fell in love with you,
The last waltz should last forever.

But the love we had was going strong,
Through the good and bad we get along.
And then the flame of love died in your eye,
My heart was broke in two when you said goodbye.

I had the last waltz with you,
Two lonely people together.
I fell in love with you,
The last waltz should last forever.

It's all over now, nothing left to say,
Just my tears and the orchestra playing.

La la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la.

I had the last waltz with you,
Two lonely people together.
I fell in love with you,
The last waltz should last forever.

La la la la la la la la la.

Engelbert Humperdinck

CRAZY ....ISN'T IT !

          Everyday we meet new people, new faces and new personalities. We see people we despise and people whom we love. We meet strangers in the oddest ways sometimes and eventually they become our friends. Some even best friends. The only problem is they have flaws. Just like You and Me. Perhaps they’re stressed out from their job, or relationships or anything really. 

          Making someone our everything is terrible in a good way. It’s a great thing because then we can rely on them for anything, they’re the people that know us and how our mind and body works. They’re the people that will be there for us to help give  a boost when we really need it. They can make us feel things we haven’t ever felt before or things we haven’t felt in a long time. Everything to make our world continue on and be happy about.

          A problem with making someone our complete world is we lose our friends, and our own self. We start thinking about our actions and how it would affect them. Hesitating on making a decision because we fear the outcome. Also, when they leave  or we leave them, what are we left with? Broken promises and past memories. Pain and disgrace at yourself. It leaves one helpless. Like we can’t continue on without them. 

           Surround yourself with positive thoughts and positive people. Not drugs or alcohol. Numbing your pain eventually only makes it worse in the end.  Making someone our everything is terrible in a good way. It’s a great thing because then we can rely on them for anything, they’re the people that know us and how our mind and body works. They’re the people that will be there for us to help give  a boost when we really need it. They can make us feel things we haven’t ever felt before or things we haven’t felt in a long time. Everything to make our world continue on and be happy about. 

           Decide next time before making someone your everything if it’s worth it in the end whenever it comes. If they leave how helpless will you feel? Would you think it was a mistake doing it and letting them in on a piece of your heart and soul.
            Crazy isn’t it, how people have such big impacts on our life?

Trust is the foundation of any relationship and without trust no relationship can survive in the long run. However, a relationship may still work out without trust to begin with. But the two people involved must work in tandem towards building trust in their relationship, because if they fail to do so, the relationship will become more of a burden than anything else in the long run. Trust has to be mutual.l.

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue. 

I used to think I knew everything. I was a "smart person" who "got things done," and because of that, the higher I climbed, the more I could look down and scoff at what seemed silly or simple, even religion.

But I realized something as I drove home that night: that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier. And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain-no matter how smart or accomplished-they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too....

 Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart.

It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. 

“When clouds of pain loom in the sky
When a shadow of sadness flickers by
When a tear finds its way to the eye
When fear keeps the loneliness alive
I try and console my heart
Why is it that you cry? I ask

This is only what life imparts
These deep silences within
Have been handed out to all by time
Everyone’s story has a little sorrow
Everyone’s LIFE has a little SUNSHINE

No need for water in your eyes
Every moment can be a new life
Why do you let them pass you by?
Oh heart, why is it that you cry?” 
                                        
                                         Javed Akhtar

I  no longer believe  in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I am beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because she was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to bond together.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

We cannot win in team situations or in relationships by ourselves. It is like trying to pick up a pencil with only one finger..... Even if that one finger is extremely strong, it will prove almost impossible to pick up that pencil unless you use your other fingers or some other part of your hand. Teamwork is a bit like using all of your fingers. Each one is unique and contributes something different, but they unite in pursuit of a common goal.

A couple of weeks ago I was suddenly hit by depressing thoughts.... I somehow felt that my purpose of having been born had been fulfilled and I, thus, did not want to live anymore. I felt that all my earthly tasks and responsibilities were over.....

Please don't get me wrong, at no stage did I think of bidding the world adieu, it is just a thought that has been nagging me.... and let me confess to you all that I am quite quite unhappy..... the grass is no longer green, the sun is just not bright and the skies are absolutely dark.

What is the cause of my problem.... is it mid-life crisis? Has anyone of you ever gone through such emotions? If so how did you come out of it?

Blog Lives On

Someone told me that I should delete the blog .After all its "stupid" and nobody reads it. What is surprising is not the opinion but the fact that the idea of deleting the blog appalled me. I had wanted this blog to be a reflection of my self, a window to my thoughts and a platform to share my views with the world. Unconsciously, this blog has become like a daily ritual. It does not matter who reads my blog ,what matters is that my thoughts flow freely here. I can reflect on my life and my experiences and delve into my own soul.


I guess this blog is here to stay. It has its own entity and the author himself seems to have no say in the matter.


So all you yen-nites as well as the non-yen-nites bear with me. 


THE BLOG SHALL LIVE ON

                                                                  Short Story -1

                                                                  THE CLOCK

        Ram was trying to drive fast. The smog was moderate but the heavy traffic over various flyovers on the Ring Road was making driving quite a chore. He had just time till 6‘O’Clock to meet up with Preeti, his beloved for the past 8 years…. and the car clock read 5 PM. He cursed every time a car from the neighbouring lane would try to aggressively manouvre into a space in front of him.

       Finally at 5.20 he reached near the Safderjung flyover and gave Preeti a call and asked her the precise location of the hotel she was stying in. “Holiday Inn ?  I’ll be there in 5 minutes” he said and hung up. Ram reached the hotel at precisely 5.25 and ran to the reception and asked for Ms. Preeti Chatterjee. “Room 301” said the assiatant at the desk. “Please wait while I check with Ms Chatterjee” . “Ms Chatterjee, Mr Ram Shorey from Infosis to meet you. May I send him to your room”. Ram did not hear the reply but presumed it was in the affirmative, for the assistant pointed towards the lift and said “3^rd Floor, Sir, Room 301”.

       So immersed was Ram in his own thoughts that he walked to the staircase instead and ran up all three flights. The sight that he saw on the third landing took his breath away.Waiting for him was the most beautiful woman in the world . Dressed in black trousers and a white shirt printed with black and white flowers, her hair cut shoulder length and colored in strands of copper and dark brown Preeti looked very very appealing. “Hello Baby” she said. “Hi doll, I ve got to go back early”, is all he mumbled.

      They moved into the room and bolted the door.The wall clock read 5.30. They had so much to talk, so much to tell each other, so much to appreciate each other and tell each other how much each one missed the other. Somehow that did not quite happen. Two hearts separated .for such a long time did not have words for each other….. They just melted into each others arms and the bed looked just too inviting !!!!!!!!!!

      Time stood still in their cocoon They were just two people in this world……..Preeti and Ram. There were no days, no nights, no worries no tsunamis ……. just Love……Time stood still.

        Suddenly the crash, or so it seemed, of the chimes of the wall clock stiking 6 broke the velvet cocoon The clock brought Ram and Preeti back to reality. “Its 6, I’ve got ot go”, said he. “I understand darling, I am glad you could come , I am so happy that we could atleast meet up”. Ram hurriedly got up and dressed, Preeti looked up from under the sheets and smiled…she did not have to go anywhere. The clock did not matter to her.  Their lips met for a last time and Ram left in a hurry.

          It was already dark by the time the traffic thinned out. Ram smiled and ran the video of the secret rendezvous, as he prefered to call it. Suddenly for no reason the euphoria of meeting his sweetheart died down and was replaced by immense guilt. “What have I done? Did she expect this from me? Where was the love I wanted to shower her with ? Did we make love or did the animal in me smother all her expectations of meeting her beloved? Oh God, I am so confused .Pardon me for my folly, Preeti, it was not me… it was just the animal in me. I know she will just smile her lovely smile and tell me that it was the best we could manage under the circumstances…….

RAM  JUST WISHED HE COULD SMASH THAT CLOCK !!!!!!!!!”.

                                                    Controlling One's Ego 

        Are you somebody who possesses the tendency to govern your life and actions through humility or are you somebody who tends to govern your life and actions through pride and arrogance? Do you know how to keep your ego in check? Keeping your ego in check and making sure you do not express arrogance or too much pride can help you go a long way in life.

       One way you can manage your ego is to maintain a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. For example, if you know you are very good at something or you know you can beat someone else at something, you should not become cocky or arrogant and tell him or her, "I am a great deal better than you are at everything we do. You are a major loser."

       Another way to manage your ego is to stay humble and express a sense of humility. You can become and stay humble by continuing to give everything you do, your all and always convince yourself that you still have something to prove to yourself and the rest of the world…..even though you have already achieved success in particular areas of your career or life. You can maintain and display humility by never being too proud to admit your mistakes. If you own up to your mistakes, you will have an easier time learning from your mistakes and you will probably gain respect and admiration.

       Keep your ego in check to improve your attitude. If you do not portray yourself as being flawless or act all hoity-toity, you will increase your ability to portray the type of attitude that is likely to impress other people and encourage them to put up with you and hopefully help you when you need their assistance.

        Manage your ego to the point that you are never completely satisfied. If you strive to be a perfectionist instead of an egotistical person, you will not become so complacent that you believe you have no room for improvement.

        Keep your ego in check so you will know when to listen. There are times in life when you need to listen to others and not ignore them or talk too much.

         Keep your ego in check to acquire a vision of the "big picture". If you avoid being egotistical, you will possess a better perspective on things in general, be a happier person and realize you do not necessarily have to possess wealth or make a lot of money at everything you do to find it to be worth your time.

         Follow these tips to control your ego and advance in life

Hi All Yen-ites

There is going to be a reduction in frequency and content, of my posts for the next few days coz am commencing  the road journey to Bhopal today. Tonite the halt is at Delhi, courtsey  old friends at DIPAC.  Tomorrow the halt is at Gwalior, Sonali’s home town (though she does’nt stay there anymore). And the last leg of the journey would be day after tomorrow ie.11 Mar,  I shall reach Bhopal. Comfortable driving of no more than 7 to 8 hrs a day.

So dear Yen-ites pl do bear with me……. Though I know I am going to be extremely busy once I reach Bhopal, I promise to keep the blog updated. There are so many views to share and events and anecdotes to regale you all with.

 Ciao till I reach Bhopal.

Some Yen-ites  amaze me!  They have doubted my litereary skills. May I remind these non-believers that  one does’nt have to be a Post Graduate in the English language. All that is needed is a thought process , rational flow of thoughts and just about adequate knowledge of a language.

 I had been working on the said article for some time, primarily as a tribute to all my friends who  have accepted me for what I am. I would want all my friends to always remember me as a person who  was always happy, for whom the SUN was always bright, the SKY always blue  and the GRASS always  green.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, or fade into anonymity. Sometimes circumstances dictate that they go in another direction leaving you to wonder; sometimes they walk away, uncaring and unwilling. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand, hoping that enmity hasn’t reared its ugly head. But when amity is afoot there can be no doubt where good intent fuels the art of reaching out. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Reasons can go against you…but when it does, all you can do is assess it for what it’s worth, monitor subsequent correspondences, make your decision and know when it's time to move on. 

Some people come into your life for a SEASON. They may only be there for a short period of time based on premeditated agendas; they may have motives that are not condoned by you, or because your turn has come to share with them in growing or learning new initiatives for the future. If all things are good, they may bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may introduce you to new routines and techniques that you have never experienced. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real! But only for a season -- they move on. Seasonal tidings with this situation usually deal with those that are going through changes, can’t cope with certain situations that cause them to step outside of comfort zones, or are unwilling to take chances. Other seasonal folk readily recognizes their own kind, and will not hesitate to cut you loose. The key to coming full circle after misunderstandings may have caused a rift is to humble yourself, accept that perhaps you could have done something better and move on. if it's meant to be they will return, if not then it just wasn't meant to be. 

LIFETIME relationships are harder to recognize for the moment, but with time can be the best choice you can make. But how many people do you know are willing to persevere for the long haul? Find one and I guarantee you will have him or her as someone trustworthy. Life timers teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. They accept you for what you are, do not prematurely judge you, do not have any inhibitions about taking chances for the betterment of the relationship, and surely feel that compatibility is something that is assessed as you go, not at the spur of the moment. They don't adhere to conditions and will be there during the zero hour. There’s GOT to be something that you can learn from this type of person. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. This is Love at it's core..the type of love that God is. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Silence doesn’t suppose to be as ominous to cut deep like the sharpest knife. To be cut loose dangling trying to fathom how it went south is to understand that directional change does not have to be defined by ill winds and misplaced logic, but by common sense and discernable options working for the best. I thank all the people I’ve met in my lifetime who have allowed me to belong, gave me love and let me love them back. I’m all the better because somewhere, somehow, and someone have given me hope that friendship is not fleeting, integrity is intrusive, and that good intent coupled with works can be a true embodiment of comraderie for as long as it is deemed necessary to embrace a true friend! And for those that I’ve called a friend at some point in my life, you will always be one…but know that you will not be forgotten. 

WHAT A STUPID WORLD

One of my all-time favourite comic strips is Calvin and Hobbes. One day as they were walking through the woods, Calvin and Hobbes found a raccoon lying on the ground.

“Is it alive?”  Hobbes asked. “I think so” said Calvin “But he’s hurt…You wait here and I’ll go get Mom”.  Hobbes says “I sure hope she can help.” Calvin replies “Of course she can.You     don’t get to  be a Mom if you can’t fix everything just right.” 

Later, after even Mom couldn’t fix the raccoon and it died, a very downcast Calvin reflects “I didn’t even know he existed a few days ago and now he’s gone forever. It’s like I found him for no reason. I had to say good-bye as soon as I said hello… Still in a sad, awful, terrible way, I’m happy I met him… WHAT A STUPID WORLD”.

Helloz All

Something tells me that this Blog is getting to be too formal….. there is just no informality. All my readers sign in as anonymous and I do not know how to address you. But it must be appreciated that we all belong to this rather unique blog, I therefore. propose that henceforth I address all readers as Yen-ites. Towards this end I seek your views ….don’t want to unnecessarily ruffle any feathers….. esp so as we all flock together on this blog.

Update on the sis front. She’s showing adequate improvement and recovery. Walked couple of steps and is now allowed to consume semi-solids. The hospital bed she found to be too high and thus difficult to climb up/down (equivalent to climbing Mt Everest in her state and she definitely is no Tenzing Norgay) , so she prefers to sleep on the attendant’s bed which is much lower. This has led to various amusing incidents. Last evening she was taking a breather during her walk and held onto the side rail of the bed and to a casual onlooker she appeared to be bent over ready to be spanked or caned, while the visitors were all sitting on chairs and three of us were lounging on the hospital bed…… And that was the time the doctor came for her rounds and didn’t see the lighter side of life. Early today morning the nurse pulled back the blanket to check Anu’s BP and other similar medical tests……. Only to discover ME under the blanket, much to our mutual amusement. Now whenever I step out of the room all the nurses giggle, probably thanking their stars that they did’nt have to give Anu a sponge bath….. I think Anu would be discharged today, and it has nothing to do with Florence Nightingale discovering me under the blanket on the hospital bed.